The following CERS paragraphs are actual student submissions
that received perfect scores. While not
without errors, they exemplify the very best in the particular areas of
reasoning and synthesis, where many students struggled. The names of students have been removed out
of respect for their privacy.
Particular areas where they shined include:
1) Using present tense verbs when appropriate to describe
the action in the story in real time.
2) Varying word choices.
3) Varying sentence structure.
4) Articulating complex logic and reasoning
5) Creatively extending the story in a prediction of what
could happen next
6) Smooth, flowing sentences that are clear and precise
7) Virtually error free for grammar, conventions, mechanics, spelling, and usage
8) Demonstrates deep knowledge and understanding of the story. You can't write about what you don't comprehend.
Well done! You are
truly writing like dragons!
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In the retell of the Greek myth “Narcissus” by Roger
Lancelyn Green, some might think that the Oread, Echo, is more foolish of the
two main characters. However, the other of the two, Narcissus, is more
senseless. In one scene, Narcissus is unknowingly staring at his own reflection
in a clear pool of water, believing it is a nymph who he has begun to admire
extensively. “He could not leave the pool, but lay by its side day after day
looking at the only face in the world which he loved-and could not win; and pining
just as Echo had pined. Slowly Narcissus faded away, and at last his heart
broke,” (Green, 831). This is important because it shows Narcissus wasted his
life being self-absorbed, not by spending his years truly loving another being.
So, Narcissus was more egotistical, and therefore, more foolish because he was
tricked by his own self and it led to his demise. In the future, the goddess of
love, Aphrodite, will probably take pity on Echo as she had before. The
immortal will take away the nymph's curse of repeating what others say, so Echo
can tell her own stories about how to be kind to others and not go down the
path Narcissus had followed.
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In Roger Lancelyn Green's retelling of the Greek myth
"Narcissus," some might think that Echo is the more unwise character.
Narcissus, however, is the greater fool. During one scene, Aphrodite takes
revenge on Narcissus for leaving Echo's lust for him unanswered. She forces him
to become enchanted by his own reflection, yet his love for himself cannot be
reciprocated, so he dies in grief and sorrow. "Slowly Narcissus faded
away, and at last his heart broke. 'Woe is me for I loved in vain!' he
cried." (Green, 831). This is important because Narcissus trifles with Echo,
a nymph, and Aphrodite, a god, and he pays dearly. So, the egotistical boy is
more foolish than the nymph because he provokes Aphrodite to avenge Echo.
Because Narcissus is killed without reconciliation with the gods, he will
probably, in the future, suffer again at Aphrodite's hands. Although Echo
enrages Hera, she helps Zeus, and in doing so wins his favor. Zeus, being the
king of the gods, does have a good deal of power, and is likely to protect
Echo's spirit in the afterlife, so Hera will not be able to make Echo ache as
Narcissus aches.
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In the Greek Myth “Narcissus,” by Roger Lancelyn Green, some
might think that Echo is the greater fool of the two characters. However,
Narcissus is more irrational. In this scene, Echo is desperately trying to show
her affection for Narcissus, but is painfully rejected with harsh words. “‘Away
with these embraces!’ he cried angrily, his voice full of cruel contempt. ‘I
would die before I would have you touch me!’” (Green, 830). This is important
because if Narcissus hadn't proclaimed these cruel words to his true admirer,
he would not have been so severely punished by Aphrodite. So, Narcissus'
senseless behavior shows that he is more foolish because he does not realize
that his scorning of love would not be overlooked. In the future, Narcissus'
actions will not only affect his afterlife, but will also cause a brutal war
between the nymphs and Narcissus' Theban friends.
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In the Greek myth "Narcissus," as retold by Rodger
Lancelyn Green, some might think that Echo is the greater fool. However,
Narcissus acts more foolishly than Echo. In this scene, Narcissus is lost in
the forest after one of his hunts. When he calls out for assistance, Echo hears
him and comes running to him. She has fallen in love with him with only
glimpses of him, though they have not properly met yet. Seeing her coming,
Narcissus shoves her away, cruelly addresses her, and then leaves. "'Kill
me!' begged Echo," (Green, 830). This is important because Narcissus
doesn't even know her, yet he was still acts offensively. He is lost and she
could help him, or she could be beneficial to him in some other way.
Furthermore, his impudent behavior causes Aphrodite, goddess of love, to curse
him later on for breaking Echo's true heart. He is the one who brought his own
cursed fate upon himself. So, when talking about who behaves more recklessly,
Narcissus leaves Echo in the dust because he acted out rashly and incurred a
goddess' wrath. In the future, Narcissus' spirit might realize his mistakes and
become regretful. Because of the unrest in his spirit, he might later try to
haunt others when they break someone's heart like he did, cursing them to be
narcissistic.
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In the Greek myth “Narcissus” retold by Roger Lancelyn
Green, some might think that Echo is more foolish than Narcissus. However,
Narcissus is more irrational. In this scene, Narcissus is bewitched by his
reflection who is not expressing love back to him. “He could not leave the
pool, but lay by its side day after day looking at the only face in the world
which he loved-and could not win; and pining just as Echo had pined.” (Green,
831).This is important because Narcissus falls in love with himself-unlike
Echo, who has an attainable love. So the vain youth was more unreasonable than
the maiden because he is captivated by an inanimate object. In the future,
Echo’s sisters will probably fall in love, but be constantly reminded by Echo’s
voice to not fall in love with a narcissist like she did.
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In the retelling of the Greek myth “Narcissus” by Roger
Lancelyn Green, some might think that Echo is a greater fool. However, it is
really Narcissus who is witless. In this scene, the day is humid and Narcissus
decides to go down to the pool to dip his face into the water. “What was his
surprise to see a beautiful face looking up at him through the still waters of
the pool,” (Green, 831). This is important because he is so enthralled with his
own reflection, that he is unable to leave the beautiful sight of himself. This
obsession is what causes his ultimate demise. So, the self-absorbed huntsman is
the true imbecile because he falls prey to his own vanities. In the future, the
Narcissus flower blooms and becomes more robust than ever imagined, being fed by
the soft breezes and delicate whispers of Echo.
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In the retold Greek myth “Narcissus” by Roger Lancelyn
Green, some might think that Echo is the greatest fool. However, Narcissus acts
more foolishly. In this scene, Narcissus discovers his reflection in the clear,
still waters of the pool. “Narcissus seemed enchanted by what he saw. He could
not leave the pool, but lay by its side day after day looking at the only face
in the world which he loved—and could not win; and pining just as Echo had
pined,” (Green, 831). This is important because unlike Echo, Narcissus is only
in love with himself and thinks that nothing in the world is more important
than winning himself. So, Narcissus’ actions are sillier than Echo’s because he
can not get out of the mindset of only loving himself. In the future, Echo and
Narcissus will probably be with each other after death and love each other just
like Echo has wished.
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In the Greek myth "Narcissus" retold by Roger
Lancelyn Green, some might think that Echo is more foolish. However, Narcissus
is the greater dunce. In this scene, Narcissus, the son of a nymph and a god of
a nearby river, falls in love with his own reflection and dies of a broken
heart. "He could not leave the pool, but lay by its side day after day
looking at the only face in the world which he loved-and could not
win;..."(Green, 831). This is important because anyone who is crazy enough
to fall in love with their own reflection is messed up. While Echo was just too
in infatuated with him to see he would not love her back. So, Narcissus is more
irrational than Echo because Echo only fell for someone who would not accept
her, while Narcissus only loves a reflection of himself which he could never
even touch. In the future, Narcissus might see Echo in the underworld, or the
place were all creatures besides gods go when they die in Greek mythology, and
realize the error of his ways and begin to love Echo back.
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In the Greek myth “Narcissus” retold by Roger Lancelyn
Green, some might think that Echo was the greater fool. However, Narcissus is
more ludicrous. In this scene, Narcissus, the son of the river god and nymph
falls in love with his reflection and perishes of a broken heart. “He could not
leave the pool, but lay by its side day after day looking at the only face in
the world which he loved--and could not win; and pining just as Echo had
pined,” (Green, 831). This is important because no one is crazy to fall in love
with their own reflection. But, Echo is just bewitched with him to see he would
not love her back. So, the vain youth is more absurd than Echo because Echo
fell for someone who would not accept her for who she is while Narcissus adores
only his reflection which he cannot touch. In the future, Narcissus will see
Echo in the underworld, and realize the mistakes in his paths and begin to love
Echo back.
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In the retelling of the Greek Myth “Narcissus” by Roger Lancelyn
Green, some might think that Echo was a greater fool than Narcissus. However
Narcissus is the greater fool. In this scene Narcissus says to Echo to leave
him alone and that he would rather die than to have Echo touch him. “Away with
these embraces, I would die before I would have you touch me!” (Green, pg 830).
This is important because this proves that Narcissus was the greater fool by
saying hurtful words to eventually have Echo ask for death and fade away into a
forgotten memory. So, the poor nymph Echo is not guilty because the greedy,
selfish Narcissus caused Echo to become nothing but a mislead nymph. Because of
all these events Narcissus and Echo are both dead because Narcissus couldn’t
accept a simple embrace from Echo. In the future the most probable solution
would be other nymphs will be made aware of their death and remember that the
world doesn’t evolve around them.
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In the Greek myth "Narcissus" retold by Roger
Lancelyn Green, some might think that Echo of the two characters, was a greater
fool. However, Narcissus was the most foolish. In this scene, Narcissus stares
down into a pond only to see his magnificent face. He doesn't realize it is
himself because of the hoax sent upon him for scorning Echo in previous scenes.
"The moment he saw, he loved-and love was a madness upon him so that he
could think of nothing else," (Green, 831). This is important because Echo
was not foolish for loving someone who scorned her. She didn't have a choice for
who she desired. It was a feeling she couldn't control. Narcissus was a
imbecile for not realizing he was only in love with his reflection and never
cared for anyone but himself. So, the dashing prince was more senseless than
the lovesick nymph because he didn't realize that his lover was a mirror image
of the Prince's own face. In the future, Echo, the helpless nymph will be able
to confess her love to confused Narcissus when they have both died and become
extraordinary spirits. He will understand what happened and plead for the
nymph's forgiveness.
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In the Greek myth “Narcissus” retold by Roger Lancelyn
Green, some may believe that of Echo and Narcissus, Echo was the greater fool.
However, Narcissus is more halfwit. In this scene, Hera, wife of Zeus, curses
Echo with a spell of only being able to repeat what other people are saying and
Echo falls in love with Narcissus, a man in love with his own reflection. “’One
touch of those lips would kill me!’ he called back furiously over his shoulder.
‘Kill me!’ begged Echo,” (Green, 830). This is important because Echo has a
crush on Narcissus and she wants to kiss him, but he is so in love with himself
that he thinks Echo touching him would do away with himself. Narcissus is
narcissistic and that makes him the greater fool. So, Narcissus acted more like
a nitwit because he adores himself too much to have passion for anyone else. In
the future, Hera will reflect on how she reacted to Echo, so she will lift the
spell and raise her from the dead. Echo will then see the Narcissus flowers and
remember how stupid she was to love such a selfish person.
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In the Greek myth "Narcissus" retold by Roger
Lancelyn Green, some might argue that Narcissus is the greater fool. However,
Echo is even more unwise. In this scene, Echo is following a young love in the
forest, but is unable to speak her own words because of a curse she received.
"But the curse which Hera had placed upon her tied her tongue, and she could
only follow wherever he went, hiding behind trees and rocks, and feasting her
eyes vainly upon him," (Green 828-830). This is important because Echo's
"only choice" is to follow Narcissus around, and if this event hadn't
occurred, he never would have broken her heart. A foolish action leads to a
foolish consequence. There are many other solutions to not being able to speak
original words, other than stalking Narcissus. Echo could have written a love
letter, and would have avoided being cast violently. So, Echo acted more
foolishly than Narcissus because she fell in love, but died of a broken heart
due to an unreasonable alternative. In the future, Aphrodite might raise Echo
and Narcissus from the dead and teach them to love for one another, lifting
both of their curses.
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In the Greek myth,” Narcissus” by Roger Lancelyn Green, some
might think that Narcissus was the fool in the story. The fact of the matter
is, however, Echo was the greater nincompoop. In this scene Echo is distracting
Zeus’s wife, Hera. Zeus sneaks back to Olympus after having fun with the
nymphs, and without Hera finding out. “Hera realized that Echo was doing this
on purpose to detain her while Zeus went quietly back to the Olympus as if he
had never really been away,” (Green, 828). This is important because Echo tries
to cover up that Zeus is cheating on Hera. She was so mad she cast a cruel,
harsh spell on Echo. So, Echo was being the most careless person in the story
because she tried to disguise Zeus’s perfidiousness to Hera, which costs the
nymph a curse. In the future after Echo and Narcissus have passed, Aphrodite
probably finds out that Narcissus never wanted to die. The goddess gives Echo
back her voice, but not her body. She gives Narcissus his voice too, but he is
still a flower. The whispers in the tree and the Narcissus flower still
communicate today and their voices can be heard in the ancient Greek woods.
